acute paroxysms of anguish

RJ_happygolucky

I am not a fan of optimism. In fact, I never was. My real friends could attest to that. But recent events in my life pushed (or should I say forced?) me to be one. When all in the world has proven to be an array of both complicated things and difficult people, you have to shower yourself with some glorious dash of fairness by allowing optimism to shine its light on you. I choose to be happy. This is a choice I make despite all the hostility and indifference this world has shown me. This is a choice I make albeit all the abrupt yet expected breakdowns. Fairness and justice should no longer be an issue here--as they never existed anyway. I am standing up for my choice. I will stick to it as if it were my heart and body. The race may soon be over. The strong finish may be clear and just around my lucid vision. But I will make sure that I savor every minute and every single bit of these moments that lie ahead. I might not end up as victorious as I planned, but I will make sure that I ran the best race as if it were the only one I could ever have in my lifetime.

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I miss my conversations with my best friend. They range from the nasty to the obscure. From the impersonal to the most delicate of stuff. From the nonchalant to the hurting. I know he’ll end up reading this and I know that he knows what I mean. I hope to find ourselves seated again in the middle of obscurity, clatter, and noise conversing on just about anything. These are the days when freedom (of speech) is best practiced. And these are days when I’m most happy. And he knows that.

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Tama, marami pang mga bagay ang hindi ko naiintindihan. Marami pang mga bagay ang ipinipilit kong intindihin pero hindi ko magawang unawain. Marahil hindi sapat ang pag-intindi. Marahil hindi rin sapat na alam mo ang dahilan ng mga bagay-bagay. Dapat may ginagawa ka rin. Sa kabilang banda, masama na rin kapag sumosobra. Minsan, hindi na rin tama na angkinin ang hindi naman talaga sa ‘yo. Huwag magpumilit kung ayaw. Huwag magsayang ng oras at pagod kung wala na talagang magagawa. May hangganan din ang lahat. Matatapos ang mga nangyayari at pangyayari kung matatapos ang mga ito. Kanya-kanyang diskarte lang ‘yan. Kanya-kanyang lakas ng loob, kanya-kanyang takbo, kanya-kanyang sugod, kanya-kanyang pagpapagod, kanya-kanyang paghihintay. Sa huli, makukuha mo rin ang makukuha mo--gustuhin mo man o hindi.

RJ_happygolucky

 >>>The NBA Moving Forward Process

:::Initial

1. Kill the Hope

2. Unlearn the Love

3. Stop Expecting

1. Kill the Hope

2. Stop Expecting

3. Save Yourself Some Pride & Respect

1. Kill the Hope

2. Stop Expecting

3. Let the Love Die a Natural Death

1. Kill the Hope

2. Stop Expecting

3. Let the Love Die a Natural Death

4. Live in the Present but Move Forward

5. Save Yourself Some Pride, Respect, & Dignity

6. Discipline Your Self

>>>Incognito

RJ_happygolucky

>>>I Saw the Signs

RJ_happygolucky

>>>Beginning ‘09

AFTER NEARLY twelve hours at work, I’m finally home. And what a feat it was! I’m home before sunrise! What a sweet relief for someone who still has truckloads of stuff to finish at the office. And for sure, these are the same matters that will greet me come Tuesday shift. Oh well, the Monday bomb was not that big a scare at all. Maybe, it was just my I-don’t-care-much-about-what’s-happening-around-me kind of attitude that changed my view on the course of things. At least for today.

2009. New Year. Good start.

Or was it?

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Hoy! Unang araw ng trabaho ngayon. Ayusin mo ang 2009 mo. Mag-Starbucks ka ha! - Sheila Marie F. Ramirez

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Love can mend your life. Love can break your heart. - Message in a Bottle, The Dawn

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YYY:

Sobra ka naman. Di makatarungan ‘yun.

ZZZ:

Sanay na ako sa injustice. Sanay na dapat ako. Unfair na sa kanila kung hindi pa.

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RJ_happygolucky

>>>Earlier Today

Hindi mahirap magsulat ng bagong gising. Mahirap magsulat ng gutom at pinupulikat.

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LUNES NA.

Sa wakas, natapos na rin ang bakasyon para sa mga gusto nang pumasok ulit. At sa kasamaang palad, simula na naman ng delubyo (para sa mga taong sobrang nag-enjoy sa paghilata sa kama at paglamon ng lahat ng manggagaling sa refrigerator, para sa mga taong namihasa sa pagpapakababoy aka mga taong tulad ko). Tapos na ang maliligayang araw natin. Ibig sabihin din, tapos na ang holidays. Tapos na ang pasko at ang bagong taon. Nabuksan na lahat ng regalo at muntik nang naubos ang laman ng ATM (slash kinita ng 2008 at pinagsamang bonus at 13^th month pay).

Naku, malamig pa ang hangin kaya masarap-sarap pa talagang matulog. Kailangan nang samantalahin ‘to dahil ilang buwan na lang eh pawis-pawis na naman tayo sa buhay

summer. And if you are my friend, you know that I don’t like the very thought of it! Argh!

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>>>Quotable Quote

“Alam mo bang nalimutan na ng tyan kong gutom sya tas pinaalala mo lang? Bad ka, bad!” - The Legendary Aileen Macalintal

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>>>Food Experiment of the Day

Try mixing (little or medium or large) bits of queso de bola and Christmas ham with your morning dose of rice. Tastes weird. But it's worth a try! Let me know of your stomach's violent reactions. Hahaha!